(Get Your Kicks On) Route 66

Day #4 Miles: 541

Day #4 States: 3 (Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico)

Mileage Total: 1666

This morning hit me like a sack of bricks. With the time change, and trying to sleep in strange surroundings, and moving worries, I was in bad shape. My body ached, I was exhausted, and my one solace was thinking 'I only have to drive 8 hours today'. Also, I knew once I hit Albuquerque, I gain an hour, which can easily translate into an extra hour of sleep. Not a positive start to the day. 

I decided that if I did not feel like driving, then I would play a role. I decked myself out in my best trucker hat, my raunchiest wifebeater, my biggest flannel shirt, and I became Bubba Adrienne. However, my trucker hat says Cornell Class of 1974 (stolen from my dad), and I feel like this detracted from my road cred. But it was definitely worth it. When I stopped for a morning coffee, one of the shop patrons said, "Are you really class of 1974? Because... dang! What are you on and where can I get my wife some?".

And this was the rather interesting sign on the ice machine at the hotel in OKC in the morning... what exactly is 'winterization'?

Oklahoma, although it doesn't seem like much, is just really really beautiful. The ground is all dead grass with a golden amber shine, with flecks of emerald grassy farmland peeking out. There are giant windmills in the background, and I liked to pretend I was Don Quixote. But the flat land and complete lack of any tall construction means the state is just telephone poles and giant blue sky. And if you are like me and crowds frighten you, there is no greater sense of peace than miles and miles and miles of comforting open spaces.

I picked up the historical Route 66 outside of Oklahoma city, and it's a great ride. The whole route goes from Chicago, IL to Los Angeles, LA and has been around since 1926. And of course, I busted out my Nat King Cole. Soon enough, I was feeling a little restless. I saw a sign for 'CHEROKEE TRADING POST', and decided it was just enough of a kitschy tourist thing to provide at least 15 minutes worth of entertainment. And it was next to a gas station. Fake arrowheads and fuel. Sounds good.

I spent about 2 minutes just staring and inhaling. First, the air quality in rural Oklahoma is unbelievable. It's like you get more oxygen in every breath, and you inhale and have nothing get caught in your internal filter. And second, I was trying to figure out if this is offensive or not.  I decided on 'yes'.

And then they had this tee-shirt:

And I settled on two simple souvenirs:

I'm a huge fan of oversize coffee mugs, and I saw the buffalo penny and wanted to make one in the crank machine. I loved it. 

And then I decided to take a few minutes to explore the area surrounding the tourist stop.

I sent the above photo to Stefano. He said he was glad I was making new friends.

 Following my touristy distraction, I was feeling a million times better. Then I passed into Texas (again).

After only about 15 minutes in Texas, I noticed that the median and the other side of the road were smoking. I didn't know what it was, it seemed really weird. But it was a grass fire that extended for nearly a mile, ravaging the median with orange flames and polluting the perfectly crisp air with smoke. 

But after that, the ride through northern Texas looked something like this:

The second major stop for the day was in Amarillo, Texas for some lunch. My research revealed that there was a local specialty that I really needed to try, and that this was pretty much the place to try it. 

Blue Sky is right beside Route 66 and caters to the 'burgers and beer' crowd, featuring fast food made from things that are edible. For a drink, I tried a sip of something called 'Fanta Red', which might have been some kind of fruit-flavored soda, but was really just sugar and food dye. I eventually settled on unsweetened iced tea. But the meal was, as mentioned, a local specialty: the Green Chile Cheeseburger. The point is really simple: take a really well-prepared, flavorful cheeseburger that is already decked out with lettuce, tomato, pickles, onions, etc. and serve it besides a pot of green chiles, so that you can spice your patty to your hearts content. I don't know who invented this, but I am madly in love with them. The combo is perfect. The green chiles don't offer an aggressive punch of heat that can sometimes cancel out more subtle flavors (like a toasted bun), but it offered a textural change, a temperature change, and a slow-spice finish... like if you marinated tomatoes with pickled jalapenos or something and put those on a cheeseburger. I typically avoid eating animals that are born live, including beef, but this was kind of worth it. A great stop.

The next major milestone was passing into New Mexico.

 In New Mexico, the land isn't as flat. And! I finally got to drive off into the sunset...

Pulled into Albuquerque, New Mexico for the evening. The city is pretty at night, and a lot larger than I thought it would be. But I couldn't help but think about the Weird Al song, 'Albuquerque'. I'm looking to get a lot of sleep so that hopefully I'll wake up tomorrow morning and not feel like hell. It's hard to get used to time changes. I also am working on downloading some additional podcasts as I quickly ran out of episodes of 'This American Life' and 'Radiolab'. I am a little bummed that I did not find the taxidermied armadillo that I originally wanted as a souvenir, but I think I've done alright.

Westward Ho!

Day #3 Miles: 629

Day #3 States: 4 (Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas, Oklahoma)

Mileage Total: 1125

A lot of Northerners have an inherent distrust of the South.They live far away, the climate is different, the culture is different, and they have wildly different political beliefs. But if you’re just passing through and you mostly just want to eat stuff (and let’s be real… it’s the land of  carbs and slow-cooked meats) and not judge anyone, then I think you’re good.The only awkward experience from down South happened this morning during a coffee stop. I ordered my drink, paid, and then was walking away when the cashier said, “Play nice, pretty Yankee”. Not a bad experience, but it struck me as a pretty terrible pick-up line.

Finishing the route through Mississippi involved seeing some cows. 

And then I crossed the Mississippi River, and the state line into Louisiana.

Louisiana appears to have the most hitchhikers out of all of the states I’ve passed through so far. Not sure if this is a good or a bad thing, but I decided not to pick any of them up, as I kind of like my stuff,being alive, and not getting raped. But otherwise driving through was kind of neat! You see all the signs for the different parishes… because Louisiana has parishes. Certain portions were really reminiscent of East Cleveland, where you walk down one block and you’ve passed five churches.

I did what anyone would do… stopped for soul food!

Lunch was a fried chicken breast covered in a spicy brown gravy, BBQ baked beans, turnip greens, the most amazing squash I’ve ever had,and homemade cornbread. I’m falling madly in love with turnip greens, but the squash was really a winner. It’s standard summer yellow squash, sliced thin and braised or stewed or SOMETHING with (I think) apple cider vinegar, butter,salt, a hint of something else sweet, and a finish of red pepper. I’m definitely trying that one as soon as I get a kitchen set up. 

I passed into Texas, and it challenged some of my preconceived notions of what Texas is and should be. It wasn’t all desert-y and gross, but rather, quite lush and green on the Eastern edge.

And then it became more stereotypically ‘Texas-like’ transitioning into the center of the state. And yes, the sky is freaking huge-looking out there.

My first Texas stop was in Dallas.

There was some kind of interesting memorial with a lot of metal steer on some side of sidewalk-crossing. I don’t quite know what this was celebrating, but it was neat to look at. And there were a lot of metal cows!

I wanted to know the one place in Dallas that I should stop for tourist-y trap kind of stuff, and I was advised that Wild Bill’s Western Store was apparently the way to go.

It was the standard kind of stuff you’d expect – coffee mugs,tee-shirts, western shirts, boots, jeans with sparkly butts, studded belts, and cowboy boots of every color and style. I spent a solid minute just staring at the men’s boot collection thinking about my friend and former coworker, Mitch,and how I originally criticized his boot collection. No. My tune’s changed.That shit’s awesome. Some of that footwear is pure artwork. Out of kitschy respect, I bought a bolo tie.

Then I took a few minutes to walkabout Dallas.

Not a bad city. I’d spend a few days exploring. On my way out of town, I took a coffee/fuel stop in Wichita Falls, Texas. While waiting for my cup of brew, a man approached me. My hand instinctively went into my purse and started gripping the pepper spray, after my creepy “Pretty Yankee”morning pick-me-up, I wasn’t taking any chances. He said that he had watched me come in and saw my car and was wondering about my ‘University of Rochester’ Alumni window decal. I said yes, I was class of 2011. He said he was also a UR Alumni, and that his job is currently in Houston (traveling for business) with some kind of engineering firm. We agreed that more of the world needed to know about garbage plates, shook hands, and went on with our collective days. I know it doesn’t sound like a big deal, but when you went to a small school, you really don’t expect to run into someone from your  alma matter a thousand miles away at a random Starbucks on the side of the highway. Very cool.

Then, I headed north to overnight in Oklahoma City. I am constantly stuck by the duality of what lays beside the major roadways. Endless adult novelty stores, XXX video shops, and casinos right next to a million churches everywhere you look. It’s as though everyone spending their nights in a fit of gambling and debauchery and they wake up the next morning to beg for forgiveness and continue on with their journeys.  It seems really common. Maybe I should try it!

Anyway, the hotel’s fine, and the lady at the front desk said that if I felt like eating fancy, that Chili’s was open late. No thanks.

The Deep South

Day #2 Miles: 496

Day #2 States: 4 (Tennessee, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi)

Mileage Total: 1034 miles

I've never been to this area of the country before. Been to a snippet of Florida, but never the south. And never the deep south. Everything I know about this area I learned from Music History and American History textbooks and television (The Food Network and True Blood). I knew not to expect racist vampires flinging fried catfish at one another while banging, and I, so far, have no reason to believe the contrary.

Today's drive was pretty dull. The roads were totally clear and the weather was nearly perfect. The route was not challenging and the drive was pretty flat. 

So let's rattle through the highlights!

Did not sleep well. I had one of those nights where a million and two things continued to race through my head and only eventually did the gentle hum of the adjacent freeway lull me to slumber. Started the day off finishing the drive through Tennessee. 

Outside of a few large fireworks stores (props to Ben for letting me know to keep an eye out!) there wasn't much. 

Some of the other roadside signs were pretty entertaining. Like the billboards for the aquarium that featured charming portraits of parrots, because zoology makes sense. I was also a big fan of the public service announcements that reminded me every 10 miles that '27% of Tennessee fatalities involved alcohol'... which can mean a number of things... including that far too many people in TN have obviously been beaten to death, totally sober, with whiskey bottles. I am sure that on a clear, sunny day in the rolling hills that this state is absolutely stunning, but today's grey skies and fog banks lead me to believe it's a dreary series of strip malls. And then shortly before leaving, I crossed the Tennessee river!

The Georgia border really snuck up on me, and I was only in Georgia for about 20 minutes. No major changes. And so, I started writing a series of short songs about road travel. Here's a favorite verse:

Broken down shack beside the highway

Yes, there's a broken down shack beside the highway

It was once a house of crack until they realized smack is whack

and now there's a broken down shack beside the highway

The only major observation about Georgia is that Waffle House spreads like herpes. They're goddamn everywhere!! How many waffles do you people need? Do you drink maple syrup and have crap factory-sausage orgies? I saw a street that had two Waffle Houses within 1/2 a mile. Georgia, get your shit together.

Alabama was pretty okay. For a state with some pretty twisted history, I actually found it to be the most beautiful to drive through. The state appears to be little more than one city, a few stripmalls, and the occasional sprinkling of trailer park beside the highway. I passed into downtown Birmingham at about 3 o'clock and decided on a pit BBQ pit stop at a small hole-in-the-wall kind of place called Saw's BBQ that ended up being rated 7th in the South for barbecue by Southern Living Magazine. Best decision of the whole trip, for the next two hours even my burps were delicious. 

Passing by downtown Birmingham - UAB!!

This is my sampling of traditional Alabama white barbecue sauce. Alabama white barbecue sauce is a mayo-based sauce with some added spices, seasonings, and liquid for consistency. Not my favorite, but it's a regional specialty I liked trying. I ended up drenching the chicken in the joint's more standard red-colored vinegar sauce. It was delicious. The chicken was roasted for a very long time and was moist and delicious. The mac n' cheese was the best I've had anywhere, and the turnip greens were tender and had none of harsh acidic flavor that poorly braised greens tend to have. All of this, of course, was washed down with some of the South's famous 'sweet tea', which was tasty. I understand the appeal, but in general, drinking sugar ain't my thang. My car became a rolling fart box, but it was totally worth it. 

Some Alabama countryside, pretty right?

 Soon after came Mississippi. 

Nothing much else going on here. There is a town called Chunky, Mississippi. 

And that is all. Currently in Jackson for the night. One of my former professor's parents live in the area, and they offered to cook me dinner, which was shockingly non-awkward. As far as cool 70-year-olds go, they're pretty up there. The husband has a wall of old vinyl and the wife kept telling me I was too skinny (so she's a dirty liar, I'm okay with it). Conversation was mostly about UR, grad school programs, and I got the Mr. to discuss some of his history as a war vet. 

My souvenir from the day was this, a vintage mug specially designing for drinking tea that features pictures of distinguished-looking gentlemen with mustaches from an antique shop next to the BBQ joint in Birmingham. If I don't look like a classy broad drinking out of this one, I'm hopeless!

Done for the night. The adventures continue tomorrow!!