A Mini Adventure: Shit That I Did at 23, and a Year In Photos

Dearest Readers, a warning: don't drink and blog.

As many of you know, today I turned 24 years of age. 24 isn't really a good birthday. I mean, you can already drink. That isn't a new thing. I can't rent a car at a non-wallet-raping rate. I can't sign up for AARP. I can't run for president yet. Nothing new or cool comes with 24 years of age. Mostly, you get stuck between still having acne, making bad choices, and being forced to act like a grown up and take care of yourself because YOU'RE GODDAMN 24 YEARS OLD, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE YOU SHOULD KNOW HOW TO DO YOUR OWN FUCKING LAUNDRY (...the last statement is a bit of passive-aggression towards an ex-boyfriend. I don't care how many Master's degree you have, there is no reason why you should constantly buy new socks instead of washing old ones).

So yeah! I'll write more on my weekend, our adventures, and how myself and my family celebrated this (not) momentous occasion later, but for now, I present to you a list.

THE INCOMPLETE LIST OF SHIT THAT I DID WHILE I WAS 23

1. I learned how to make bruschetta without an overly-aggressive garlicky flavor.

2. I ran 3 5k races.

3. I ran the Cleveland Half Marathon.

4. I ran a zombie-themed obstacle race.

5. I painted my friend Ben's fingernails while he wasn't paying attention.

6. I probably ate my weight in spinach.

7. I presented original research about a relatively obscure topic at a national conference.

8. I bought a suit.

9. I dressed up as a zombie and went bowling.

10. 4 punk bands crashed at my house.

11. I taught a Master's-level course at Kent State university without actually possessing a master's degree. And they paid me to do it.

12. I made some pretty awesome friends.

13. I kept some pretty awesome friends. Props here to the jerks I bugged in NYC for a weekend.

14. I learned the basics of several computering languages (Unix, Python, Javascript, assorted SQL-based query language, Regex...)

15. I paid off some $12000 in student loans.

16. I won a wheelbarrow filled with alcohol in a raffle.

17. I took a 3000 mile road trip. I peed in like, 10 states.

18. I got really drunk and told nearly everyone I know that I decided to become a giraffe.

19. 3 out of 4 of the guys I dated had jobs.

20. I got a job at Google.

21. I watched a guy get so drunk that he tried to light up his house keys, thinking they were a cigarette. (*No, Really)

22. I paid my taxes on time.

23. I felt really lucky about having the opportunity to do all those things.

I didn't want this list to sound like braggy. To be perfectly honest, very few of these things would have happened without some really cool folks cheering me on, pouring the shots, or helping me up. Thanks for helping me live up until now. You guys did as much of the above list as I did.

Except for the giraffe thing. That was just me being drunk.

I'm off to drink a bunch of water, in hopes that tomorrow morning won't be hangover city. I leave you now with, "23, A Year in Photos"